so far so good

Had to pop in to say so far I'm winning!

The fact that Natasha is starting from scratch and I am starting at about 38,000 words in really ought not make a lick of difference. Right?

But so far I'm trundling along at a comfortable 1000 words a day. This isn't lightning speed for me. But at this stage of the book, the "middlish" bit before the fabulous downhill run to the gorgeous mushy yummy ending, seems to take the most finessing. I do the most re-writes on this section, and tend to completely change settings, add entire scenes or flip the heroine's goals on their heads when writing, and rewriting, this middlish bit.

I think the problem is I've never been one of those authors who adores putting my characters through the wringer. I'm a bit soft that way. I love them too much to want them to really hurt. But I think for one to write a book that really resonates, one has to be able to see the moments where one is being just too darned soft, and throw them a curve ball or three to see how they react and grow and become better people through the adversity!

I mean look how yummy my Tom looks when he's all moody and pensive! So worth the pain I'm sure.

I've hit one of those points right now. One of my soft "I love them too much to hurt them" points. My heroine has dropped a huuuuuge bombshell on the hero. As bombshells go, they don't get much bigger than this. (And no she's not secretly a man...) Move onto the next time they meet, and for some reason I had written an entire chapter with them being charming and polite and oh so nice to one another. I mean come on, she's just told him...something shocking. If he's going to be polite because he's just such a nice guy, and she's going to not be mortified to be in his presence because she's just that mature, well then aren't they just too perfect for words!

I don't need no perfect hero and heroine. I'd be bored in two minutes flat with that sort of story. So now I have to be the big brave one and make them say things to one another that would make me just die if I was in their shoes. I'm gong to have to get them to admit things, and apologise and have a "talk". And to do that, I'm going to have to cut, perhaps, maybe, oh god! a whole chapter. Gulp!

Must I? Will I? Can I?

Give me strength!